Chronicles of the Rodeo-Ninja War (Part 1)

Hello readers! My, it has been quite some time, hasn't it? I do apologize for our absence, but there were...circumstances out of our control. The computer that I use to update this blog, along with our IT staff(s) and a great number of other things had been transmogrified into rabbits*, you see. Things have been...eventful here.

*Due to recent events, the Council have decided to move Rabbit Transmogrification to one of the forbidden arts, at least for the time being.**
**The council (Except for Elder Fred and Elder Malcolm) was transmogrified into rabbits shortly after making this decision. The best and brightest Super Wizards are currently in the process of developing Council Transmogrification, but have had limited success***.
***The Ghost of the Doomsday Scribe suggested Ghost Transmogrification. When it was pointed out, however, that this was just a stupid term he made up for death, he made an obscene gesture while slowly disappearing into a wall****.
****This would have normally caused the council to increase resources to finding a replacement for the scribe, but in their current state, they settled for passive-aggressively nibbling on lettuce.

The IT department(s) has been urging the Council to update their transmogrification protection to current standards for years, but they've been slow to act.  Whether it was the cost and effort involved in bringing the protection up to compliance, or the weird, eldritch chittering language of the IT department(s)*, they were not prepared for what was to come.
*Or, I suspect, both.

Anyway, you see, two of our more...well-known students took their animosity for each other to the next level and went to all-out war.  Rodeo Nova and Ninja Bunny have only recently been contained in the Recreation and Quarantine Wing, and a student lottery has been set up to see who's responsible for bringing them food and other necessities while we figure out what to do with them, or for them to resolve whatever their differences are.

No one's entirely sure what happened to spark this war, but the following argument was heard by those listening out of sight before the hostilities began:

"ALL MATTER IS RABBITS AT ITS PURIST FORM!"

"THAT'S STUPID!  YOU'RE STUPID!  SUMMON THE HOUNDS!"

"Do you even know what you're doing with Hound Summoning?!  You're taking concentrated evil and putting it in the shape of a dog!"

"EVIL IS A GOOD BOY AND JUST WANTS WALKIES AND TUMMY SCRATCHES!"

"AND SOULS!"

"ONLY ON TUESDAYS IF THEY EAT ALL THEIR FOOD AND DON'T MESS ON THE CARPET!  And don't act like you're a saint!  Last week you turned the entire math class into rabbits!"

"I freed them from their earthly non-rabbit shackles!"

"What does that even mean?!  My hounds never do stuff like that!"

"ONE OF YOUR HOUNDS ATE SUPER WIZARD FLYING RAINBOW AN HOUR AGO!"

"Well he had a stupid name."

"HOW IS THAT AN EXCUSE?!"

"Commodore Scritch-Scratch hates stupid names.  And stop changing the subject!  I know you know the secrets of Hound Transmogrification!"

"You'll never figure it out!"

"I'll make you tell me!"

"I don't know the secrets, there was only one place to learn them!"

"WHERE?!"

"The library!"

"NO!"

"IN A BOOK!"

"NO!  LIES!"

"YOUR HUBRIS AGAINST INANIMATE OBJECTS HAS BECOME YOUR DOWNFALL!"



...We'll discuss what followed in the days to come.  For the time being, we're still in the process of rebuilding after this...event, and there's much to do.

However, rest assured, readers!  We have pulled through another disaster, and will continue to be a shining beacon on the horizon for Super Wizards (And Super Wizards at heart*) everywhere!
*People who can't afford tuition.