The March of Trundles the Love Imp

Can you hear the thundering of unsteady foot steps?  The tromp tromp tromp of Trundles trundling along?  The Skitter-squeaking footfall of his dread army of innumerable cuddle knights?  Lock your doors and shutter your windows, for today is their day.  Today is the March of Trundles the Love Imp.

Today is February 14th, as you all well know, the day when Trundles the Love Imp and his cuddle knights rampage across the land.  They're also around on other days of the year, but no one really knows where they're holed up.  Cuddle knights usually start popping up around the beginning of the month to start bolstering Trundles' army.

There's a lot we don't know about Trundles and his Cuddle Knights.  Why do they rampage?  Why is the death(?) toll so high?  Where do they go after the rampage?  All who have sought the answer to this question are either dead or wear the horrifyingly cuddly armor of the Cuddle Knights.  Here's an overview of this infamous day!

Origins:  Trundles the Love Imp has been around for as long as our recorded history goes back.  His exact origins are shrouded in mystery, and there are theories regarding it.  One of the popular theories is that his creation was a side-effect of the Super Wizard Order weaponizing Love*.  Some think that he was montaged into existence with The Eighties**.
*The Excessive Force weapon that is Love will be discussed in a future entry.
**This theory doesn't hold a lot of weight as The Eighties were a recent discovery, although it has been argued that 'The Eighties are really weird.'

Activities:  There are a number of activities to enjoy during this festive...holiday sounds wrong.  Event?  Yeah, that works.  The most popular activity is, of course, cowering under your bed.  All beds in the student dorm are equipped with a designated Trundles Cowering Space.  Full Super Wizards have their Cowering Closets, and the Council has the luxurious Cowering Lounge complete with mini-bar.  At least, that's what I'm told.

I suppose that's really only one activity then.  So one activity to enjoy.  I think it goes without saying that classes are canceled as well.  We've learned the lesson of trying to hold classes on 2/14 after the incident with the late Elder Dave.

Discount Chocolate Day:  The day immediately following 2/14, of course, is Discount Chocolate Day, the official holiday where all stores sharply discount their supplies of chocolate and various other candies.  This is done to celebrate having survived Trundles the Love Imp one more year, and in memory of those who fell to the girth of his affection.  It's common to see the confections bearing messages like 'You survived! (Sorry if you didn't)' and 'Life has never tasted sweeter!'

Well readers, I should get back to my traditional cowering.  Here's hoping to see all of you tomorrow, when we all simultaneously celebrate our survival and drown our sorrows.  Hopefully more of the former than the later this year, but who can say?