Lord Painscream the Incorrigible sat upon his throne of unicorn skulls, idly browsing a teen fashion magazine. "I swear to me, I don't understand kids these days..." He muttered to himself. He almost didn't notice when a cloud of black smoke began to pour into the room from several cracks in the red wall, materializing into a humanoid form. As the smoke merged, the form began to develop more and more features until a stately gentleman butler stood before him.
"Sir." The butler said.
"Ah, hello Jacob." Lord Painscream said, looking at him over the bridge of his tiny reading glasses.
"We've just received...er...what are you reading, sir?"
"A teen fashion magazine."
"A what?"
Lord Painscream let out a sigh. "It's a quarterly book of sorts in which they discuss the latest fashion trends that the kids are following."
"I er...know what it is. I'm just somewhat surprised to find you reading it."
"Demons need to know these things, Jacob. If someone summons us to request their hearts desire, we'll get laughed out of the summoning circle if we show up wearing green tunics or something like that. It's..." he squinted at the magazine again. "...like, so last season."
"If...you say so, sir."
"So why are you here?"
"It seems like your daughter sent us a bit of a..." Jacob scrunched up his face, as though trying to decide what to say. "...gift?"
"Ah, my little Burning Mermaid, off and about in the world above to pursue a higher education." Lord Painscream said, flicking away a tear of pride. "So what did she send us?"
"A bunch of members from something called the Cult of the Screaming Bleeding Agony."
"They sound fun."
"They were originally surprised and distressed when they arrived, but then they became..." Jacob shuddered. "...very excited."
"Oh. That sort of cult." Lord Painscream replied, his happiness deflating a bit. "Well, I'm sure we'll get them sorted out eventually. Make sure you assign them the folks with the really strong stomachs."
"Yes sir."
"Thanks Jacob. You're a pretty alright butler."
Jacob beamed. "You might even say I'm one HEL-"
"I'm going to stop you right there, Jacob. Your predecessor made that joke like...every time I saw him. You probably don't want to know the situation that led to his replacement." He looked around the room and then put a clawed hand to his mouth and lowered his voice as though telling a secret. "It involved a lot of screaming and they're still trying to clean the blood off the walls."
"...yes sir." Jacob said, turning a little pale. He began to dissipate into smoke again and escape through the cracks in the wall from whence he came.
"Allright, where were we..." Lord Painscream murmured, paging through the magazine. "Ugh...pastels...and they say demons are evil."
Tuesday, January 31, 2017
Monday, January 30, 2017
Notice
Readers,
Following the events of Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden's disappearance, we will be finding a temporary replacement to maintain this blog. This replacement will only be temporary, and we're sure that Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden will be found and continue his updates as per usual within the week.
This is assuming that Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden has not gone to the West Wing. In the event of this unfortunate circumstance, a more permanent replacement will be found. If Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden has gone to the west wing, anyone appearing while wearing the physical form of Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden is not to be trusted.
This is especially true if the imposter says anything negative or profane regarding Crimson Bovine products.
This is especially doubly true if the negative or profane things he says regarding Crimson Bovine are spoken in tongues.
-The Super Wizard Council and the kind folks from Crimson Bovine Inc.
Following the events of Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden's disappearance, we will be finding a temporary replacement to maintain this blog. This replacement will only be temporary, and we're sure that Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden will be found and continue his updates as per usual within the week.
This is assuming that Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden has not gone to the West Wing. In the event of this unfortunate circumstance, a more permanent replacement will be found. If Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden has gone to the west wing, anyone appearing while wearing the physical form of Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden is not to be trusted.
This is especially true if the imposter says anything negative or profane regarding Crimson Bovine products.
This is especially doubly true if the negative or profane things he says regarding Crimson Bovine are spoken in tongues.
-The Super Wizard Council and the kind folks from Crimson Bovine Inc.
Friday, January 27, 2017
Q&A With Lazer Gaiden (Part 10)
Hello readers! Today marks the tenth edition of Q&A we've done since this blog began! Thank you for sticking with me this long to make it interesting. Let's get to the questions.
Do rabbits count toward the annual casualty quota?
-Rodeo Nova
Hello Rodeo Nova,
While I would like very much to refuse answering your question, I am sworn to do so by the responsibility of being the Super Wizard Guidance councilor.
Or that's what I would say, if I knew. Truth be told, nobody really knows much about the casually quota other than the accountant. We're not sure why it exists or what would happen if it were to be exceeded. We assume that this has never actually occurred, because we assume that Robert Baron would tell us if we did. Usually he just tells us if we're getting close.
But as far as I know, only students count towards the annual casualty quota. That said, please keep in mind that Elder Malcolm would probably be somewhat displeased at violence against his kind, and do try not to make the turf war between you and Ninja Bunny any worse than it already is. Rabbits may not count towards the casually quota, but the students that have been caught in the crossfire do.
Dear Lazer Gaiden,
I've accidentally wandered into Elder George's office. He gave me a stern talking to about my wandering, and assigned me detention in "the west wing." Is the entrance to the west wing still a giant mouth?
Sincerely,
-Lesser Evil (and clearly not some fake trying to determine the dangers of the Tower's West Wing prior to infiltrating it.)
Hello Lesser Evil,
Nice try, but you're clearly trying to determine the dangers of the Tower's West Wing prior to infiltrating it!
Also, Elder George has apparently switched bodies with a dog for reasons that are being ignored in the interest of being hilarious, so he can't really tell anyone anything.
As far as I know, the entrance is still a mouth anyway. A number of overly curious students have been consumed by the mouth, so we've moved a Crimson Bovine vending machine in front of it to block it. Some members of the Council disagreed with this action, stating that if it consumes the Crimson Bovine, it may become powerful enough to exist. However, as of yet, it has not consumed the vending machine. So we're probably safe as far as that goes. Probably.
Seriously, stay away from the West Wing. I don't know how many times I have to say it's for your own good. This is what the Council gets for making curiosity a class for students to take.
Hello sir,
I've noticed a distressing trail of empty Crimson Bovine bottles down here in the basement. It's almost like it's leading me somewhere. Is it a good idea to follow trails of empty bottles in a room no one knows the location of?
-Throat-Punch Ballet
Hello Throat-Punch Ballet,
I would have to say no, it's probably not a good idea. But then again, what else are you going to do? Maybe you left it for yourself in the Montage. They can be weird like that.
Sir, is the Super Wizard order responsible for civilian legal fees for things like...say for example...massive loss of life, death and dismemberment, and "general terror"? On a completely and totally unrelated note, you may be hearing from some people in Dim Underchilly soon.
-Wolf Knight
...I had a number of questions of my own regarding this, but then I remembered the company you're keeping. I'm told that the Council and Tower Accountant have had a number of very urgent planning meetings for...well...that.
Sir, what's this I hear about my sister being missing?
-Turbo Thunder
Hello Turbo Thunder! Everything's fine with Taco Lightning, she's not missing in the slightest! Enjoy your family visit, and no need to worry about these missing sister rumors, and certainly not to read further in this Q&A!
Sir, help! I've been kidnapped by *Redacted*!
-Taco Lightning
Hello Taco Lightning!
I assure you that we're doing everything in our power to track you down. Hang in there!
That's odd, I don't recall there being another question for this week...
Lazer Gaiden,
If you and the Council continue to ignore our demands, I will be forced to escalate this situation. You will come to the West Wing, and we will see how much this student means to you and your order.
...I'll see you next week, readers.
Do rabbits count toward the annual casualty quota?
-Rodeo Nova
Hello Rodeo Nova,
While I would like very much to refuse answering your question, I am sworn to do so by the responsibility of being the Super Wizard Guidance councilor.
Or that's what I would say, if I knew. Truth be told, nobody really knows much about the casually quota other than the accountant. We're not sure why it exists or what would happen if it were to be exceeded. We assume that this has never actually occurred, because we assume that Robert Baron would tell us if we did. Usually he just tells us if we're getting close.
But as far as I know, only students count towards the annual casualty quota. That said, please keep in mind that Elder Malcolm would probably be somewhat displeased at violence against his kind, and do try not to make the turf war between you and Ninja Bunny any worse than it already is. Rabbits may not count towards the casually quota, but the students that have been caught in the crossfire do.
Dear Lazer Gaiden,
I've accidentally wandered into Elder George's office. He gave me a stern talking to about my wandering, and assigned me detention in "the west wing." Is the entrance to the west wing still a giant mouth?
Sincerely,
-Lesser Evil (and clearly not some fake trying to determine the dangers of the Tower's West Wing prior to infiltrating it.)
Hello Lesser Evil,
Nice try, but you're clearly trying to determine the dangers of the Tower's West Wing prior to infiltrating it!
Also, Elder George has apparently switched bodies with a dog for reasons that are being ignored in the interest of being hilarious, so he can't really tell anyone anything.
As far as I know, the entrance is still a mouth anyway. A number of overly curious students have been consumed by the mouth, so we've moved a Crimson Bovine vending machine in front of it to block it. Some members of the Council disagreed with this action, stating that if it consumes the Crimson Bovine, it may become powerful enough to exist. However, as of yet, it has not consumed the vending machine. So we're probably safe as far as that goes. Probably.
Seriously, stay away from the West Wing. I don't know how many times I have to say it's for your own good. This is what the Council gets for making curiosity a class for students to take.
Hello sir,
I've noticed a distressing trail of empty Crimson Bovine bottles down here in the basement. It's almost like it's leading me somewhere. Is it a good idea to follow trails of empty bottles in a room no one knows the location of?
-Throat-Punch Ballet
Hello Throat-Punch Ballet,
I would have to say no, it's probably not a good idea. But then again, what else are you going to do? Maybe you left it for yourself in the Montage. They can be weird like that.
Sir, is the Super Wizard order responsible for civilian legal fees for things like...say for example...massive loss of life, death and dismemberment, and "general terror"? On a completely and totally unrelated note, you may be hearing from some people in Dim Underchilly soon.
-Wolf Knight
...I had a number of questions of my own regarding this, but then I remembered the company you're keeping. I'm told that the Council and Tower Accountant have had a number of very urgent planning meetings for...well...that.
Sir, what's this I hear about my sister being missing?
-Turbo Thunder
Hello Turbo Thunder! Everything's fine with Taco Lightning, she's not missing in the slightest! Enjoy your family visit, and no need to worry about these missing sister rumors, and certainly not to read further in this Q&A!
Sir, help! I've been kidnapped by *Redacted*!
-Taco Lightning
Hello Taco Lightning!
I assure you that we're doing everything in our power to track you down. Hang in there!
That's odd, I don't recall there being another question for this week...
Lazer Gaiden,
If you and the Council continue to ignore our demands, I will be forced to escalate this situation. You will come to the West Wing, and we will see how much this student means to you and your order.
...I'll see you next week, readers.
Thursday, January 26, 2017
The Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill (Part 2)
"AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! OH GOD IT BURNS!" The man on the rack screamed.
"I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure my..." Wolf Knight paused, and considered a moment. "...traveling companions and I are very comfortable with this, Elder Bloodscream."
"Eh." Burning Mermaid shrugged.
"Oh, no one's here against their will, kiddo. They love this!" Elder Bloodscream said, and jammed the hot poker into the bound man's arm again.
"AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! THE BURNING! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHhhhh......" the man fell silent as the poker was pulled away, panting and gasping for breath. "Phew...Heh...good times."
"Eh?" Elder Bloodscream said, nudging Turbo Thunder with his elbow. "You want a go, sport?"
Turbo Thunder's face transitioned through several shades of pale and he managed to shake his head in a stilted way.
Burning Mermaid rolled her eyes. "Give it here." she said.
Elder Bloodscream handed the poker over to Burning Mermaid and laughed. "Don't have too much fun now, you crazy kid." he said. "As for you two, follow me and we'll see how we can help you out."
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
Wolf Knight and Turbo Thunder followed the robed man as he led them towards the gift shop.
"You see? I told you that sometimes you just need to ask for help." Wolf Knight said to Turbo, quietly. "Not everyone's as bad as you seem to think they are."
"AHHHHHHHHH! TOO MUCH!"
Turbo gaped at Wolf Knight, his jaw dropping open a little. "Wolf Knight, we watched them sacrifice someone! And...and the meat!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!! I NEED THAT SPLEEN!"
"Just showmanship, kid! We're a theme restaurant, I thought you'd figured that out by now." Elder Bloodscream said.
"AHHHHHHHHH! WHAT DID YOU DO TO TYLER?!"
"Yeah, see?" Wolf Knight said.
"If it's a theme restaurant, where did they take the bod-" Turbo started, but Wolf Knight cut him off.
"So we're just here for a blood sample from..."He pulled out the brochure and examined it a moment. "Deathlord Clarence."
"AHHHHHHHHH! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!"
"Ah, got the short straw, huh? Well, we've got a bunch of vials in the gift shop." Elder Bloodscream explained.
"That's a weird thing to sell in a gift shop." Wolf Knight replied.
"Kid, we're torture junkies. I assure you it's not the weirdest thing you'll find in there. We've got things you wouldn't see in your wildest dreams or your most vile nightmares. Also, funnel cake."
“Funnel cake? I haven’t had that in years. Is it any good here?” Turbo asked.
“Eh.” Elder Bloodscream shrugged.
In short order, Wolf Knight was examining a vial of ordinary looking blood and Turbo was munching on a plate of funnel cake.
“This funnel cake is really good!” Turbo said.
“You’re very kind.” Elder Bloodscream replied, beaming. “We use a special ingredient.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Turbo asked.
Elder Bloodscream spread his arms wide. “HUMAN SACRIFICES!”
Turbo abruptly dropped the plate and ran in the direction of the bathrooms, holding his hand over his mouth. Elder Bloodscream let out a burst of laughter before wiping a tear from his eye with his robe. “That never gets old.”
Burning Mermaid walked over to join them, handing the poker back to Elder Bloodscream.
"Eh? Done already? Did you have fun?" he asked her.
"It's not a very good arcade." Burning Mermaid replied. "I broke it."
"You broke..." Elder Bloodscream started, staring at her and then at the poker as his brain attempted to process her response. He ran back in the direction they had come as a miserable Turbo Thunder rejoined them.
"I'm not going to ask, and I don't want you to explain." Wolf Knight said to Burning Mermaid.
"That's probably for the best." She replied with a shrug.
"We should probably leave, quickly." Turbo said. "For a number of very good, legitimate reasons."
"I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure my..." Wolf Knight paused, and considered a moment. "...traveling companions and I are very comfortable with this, Elder Bloodscream."
"Eh." Burning Mermaid shrugged.
"Oh, no one's here against their will, kiddo. They love this!" Elder Bloodscream said, and jammed the hot poker into the bound man's arm again.
"AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHHHHHHH! THE BURNING! AHHHHHHHHH! AHHHhhhh......" the man fell silent as the poker was pulled away, panting and gasping for breath. "Phew...Heh...good times."
"Eh?" Elder Bloodscream said, nudging Turbo Thunder with his elbow. "You want a go, sport?"
Turbo Thunder's face transitioned through several shades of pale and he managed to shake his head in a stilted way.
Burning Mermaid rolled her eyes. "Give it here." she said.
Elder Bloodscream handed the poker over to Burning Mermaid and laughed. "Don't have too much fun now, you crazy kid." he said. "As for you two, follow me and we'll see how we can help you out."
"AHHHHHHHHH!"
Wolf Knight and Turbo Thunder followed the robed man as he led them towards the gift shop.
"You see? I told you that sometimes you just need to ask for help." Wolf Knight said to Turbo, quietly. "Not everyone's as bad as you seem to think they are."
"AHHHHHHHHH! TOO MUCH!"
Turbo gaped at Wolf Knight, his jaw dropping open a little. "Wolf Knight, we watched them sacrifice someone! And...and the meat!"
"AHHHHHHHHH!! I NEED THAT SPLEEN!"
"Just showmanship, kid! We're a theme restaurant, I thought you'd figured that out by now." Elder Bloodscream said.
"AHHHHHHHHH! WHAT DID YOU DO TO TYLER?!"
"Yeah, see?" Wolf Knight said.
"If it's a theme restaurant, where did they take the bod-" Turbo started, but Wolf Knight cut him off.
"So we're just here for a blood sample from..."He pulled out the brochure and examined it a moment. "Deathlord Clarence."
"AHHHHHHHHH! I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!"
"Ah, got the short straw, huh? Well, we've got a bunch of vials in the gift shop." Elder Bloodscream explained.
"That's a weird thing to sell in a gift shop." Wolf Knight replied.
"Kid, we're torture junkies. I assure you it's not the weirdest thing you'll find in there. We've got things you wouldn't see in your wildest dreams or your most vile nightmares. Also, funnel cake."
“Funnel cake? I haven’t had that in years. Is it any good here?” Turbo asked.
“Eh.” Elder Bloodscream shrugged.
In short order, Wolf Knight was examining a vial of ordinary looking blood and Turbo was munching on a plate of funnel cake.
“This funnel cake is really good!” Turbo said.
“You’re very kind.” Elder Bloodscream replied, beaming. “We use a special ingredient.”
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” Turbo asked.
Elder Bloodscream spread his arms wide. “HUMAN SACRIFICES!”
Turbo abruptly dropped the plate and ran in the direction of the bathrooms, holding his hand over his mouth. Elder Bloodscream let out a burst of laughter before wiping a tear from his eye with his robe. “That never gets old.”
Burning Mermaid walked over to join them, handing the poker back to Elder Bloodscream.
"Eh? Done already? Did you have fun?" he asked her.
"It's not a very good arcade." Burning Mermaid replied. "I broke it."
"You broke..." Elder Bloodscream started, staring at her and then at the poker as his brain attempted to process her response. He ran back in the direction they had come as a miserable Turbo Thunder rejoined them.
"I'm not going to ask, and I don't want you to explain." Wolf Knight said to Burning Mermaid.
"That's probably for the best." She replied with a shrug.
"We should probably leave, quickly." Turbo said. "For a number of very good, legitimate reasons."
Tuesday, January 24, 2017
Super Wizard Disciplines: The Eighties (Part 1)
Hello Readers! I believe it's time to discuss one of the most popular and well-known of the Super Wizard disciplines: The Eighties.
Most Super Wizard disciplines have been developed in-house and handed down for generations, but The Eighties is a bit of an exception. They were discovered when we intercepted signals of a lost time from a lost world, and have been adapted into one of the most potent (and awesome) Super Wizard disciplines at our disposal. A master of The Eighties can decimate their opponents with the power of rainbows, star wipes, and hair metal. They can also utilize the mysterious time compressing montage ability. Masters of The Eighties were also masters of the impossible, and constantly seeking to better their already impressive skills. One of the Super Wizards* from the lost world, a Stan Bush, was quoted as "I wanna run where the eagles fly." Astonishing, and an inspiration to all.
*or the lost world's equivalent to Super Wizards.
In part one regarding this discipline, we'll be taking a look at one of the basic techniques of The Eighties. Like all good things, The Eighties must be handled in small doses (or risk catastrophic consequence).
The Montage: One of the more mysterious abilities of the Eighties is that of the Montage. When channeling the power of the Eighties (in conjunction to rockin tunes of an adequate cheese factor), this ability allows the user to compress chunks of time while pursuing some sort of goal, and skip the boring or unpleasant parts. This ability is not without risks, however, as you can end up in places that you don't expect while compressing time*. Misuse (or sometimes just standard use) can cause the appearing of Eighties Spawn, and we're trying to avoid that as much as possible. Some of the make good Super Wizard candidates, but most of them don't and it's getting harder to figure out what to do with them.
*Presumably, this is how Throat-Punch Ballet found himself trapped in the basement*, despite nobody knowing where the basement actually is.
**The process of removing Throat-Punch Ballet from the basement is on-going. The Tower Accountant has made the decision to mark him down as a casualty, but promises to consider reversing this if he is successfully salvaged.
Monday, January 23, 2017
Meet the Staff (Part 5)
Hello readers! With rumors of apocalyptic wrath from beings of questionable existence and Super Wizard assignments out of the way, things can get back to some semblance of normalcy again! Let's do another Meet the Staff. For this entry, we'll be discussing what many of the Super Wizards refer to as the Tower's very own League of Evil.
Frank Stein: Frank Stein is less part of the League of Evil and more...one of their biggest victims. As the Tower janitor, Frank has become a tragic reminder of the importance of reading your contract exceedingly carefully. This is especially true when the contract is drafted by our Tower Lawyer (see below).
As stated above, Frank is the Tower janitor, and has been for...a considerable amount of time. No one's really sure how long, and Frank has been somewhat less than willing to talk about it since about the time his lower jaw went missing. Sometime after losing yet another janitor to the various deadly challenges of Super Wizard life, the Tower accountant met with the Tower lawyer to find a solution. They decided that the next janitor they were to hire would have it in his contract that he consented being raised as a zombie if/when he died, and this would be repeated "as many times as necessary." At least the benefits seem to be pretty good, he never needs to worry about getting sick in his current state!
Robert Baron: Robert Baron is the Tower accountant, and rumor has it that he was a generous, good man at one point. Such is the sinister* nature of accounting that he has been twisted into the wretched, withered, evil thing that he is today. Refered by most simply as the Tower accountant, Robert Baron decides on the allocation of funds and negotiates payments between the council and the various forces that Super Wizards work with. He also keeps track of the casually quota. It's unknown who decides on the quota or what the repercussions are should it ever be exceeded.
He's also not very well liked.
*Sinister, but necessary.
The Tower Lawyer: The Tower Lawyer is a being so secretive that few outside the Council have ever actually seen their face. Many things about the Tower Lawyer are unknown, such as their gender, their appearance, or really...anything. There are plenty of rumors that circulate about them, everything from those that say they operate out of somewhere in the kitchen* to others that say they're not human, but fae**.
*Some that hold to this speculate that they're the source of the Kitchen being what it is.
**Plausible, as the Fae do make exceptionally good lawyers. As all are no doubt very aware, however, fae are forbidden to practice law in human society.
Frank Stein: Frank Stein is less part of the League of Evil and more...one of their biggest victims. As the Tower janitor, Frank has become a tragic reminder of the importance of reading your contract exceedingly carefully. This is especially true when the contract is drafted by our Tower Lawyer (see below).
As stated above, Frank is the Tower janitor, and has been for...a considerable amount of time. No one's really sure how long, and Frank has been somewhat less than willing to talk about it since about the time his lower jaw went missing. Sometime after losing yet another janitor to the various deadly challenges of Super Wizard life, the Tower accountant met with the Tower lawyer to find a solution. They decided that the next janitor they were to hire would have it in his contract that he consented being raised as a zombie if/when he died, and this would be repeated "as many times as necessary." At least the benefits seem to be pretty good, he never needs to worry about getting sick in his current state!
Robert Baron: Robert Baron is the Tower accountant, and rumor has it that he was a generous, good man at one point. Such is the sinister* nature of accounting that he has been twisted into the wretched, withered, evil thing that he is today. Refered by most simply as the Tower accountant, Robert Baron decides on the allocation of funds and negotiates payments between the council and the various forces that Super Wizards work with. He also keeps track of the casually quota. It's unknown who decides on the quota or what the repercussions are should it ever be exceeded.
He's also not very well liked.
*Sinister, but necessary.
The Tower Lawyer: The Tower Lawyer is a being so secretive that few outside the Council have ever actually seen their face. Many things about the Tower Lawyer are unknown, such as their gender, their appearance, or really...anything. There are plenty of rumors that circulate about them, everything from those that say they operate out of somewhere in the kitchen* to others that say they're not human, but fae**.
*Some that hold to this speculate that they're the source of the Kitchen being what it is.
**Plausible, as the Fae do make exceptionally good lawyers. As all are no doubt very aware, however, fae are forbidden to practice law in human society.
Thursday, January 19, 2017
Student Highlights Week 2: Throat-Punch Ballet
Name: Throat-Punch Ballet
Sex: Male
Race: Eighties-Spawn
Hometown: ???
Strengths: The Eighties
Weaknesses: Misuse/overuse of The Eighties, luck, Glamomancy
History: Throat-Punch Ballet is one of the students referred to as Eighties-Spawn. These students have come about during use of Montages, and due to the nature of said montages, it's impossible to know where they really came from. Sometimes they're dancers, other times they're backup singers, but in all cases they don't really know how to get home. We didn't really know what else to do with him, and the Happyshine police don't typically like to handle mysterious appearances, so we made him a student.
Notes: Throat-Punch Ballet has expressed considerable interest in Glamomancy, but has shown a lack of compatibility as extreme as Taco Lightning's incredible compatibility. I didn't see for myself, but I'm told that he had such a low compatibility rating that he made the genetic sampler reassemble itself after Taco Lighting caused it to explode. This is impressive in its own way, but we're not really sure what it means.
Glamomancy aside, Throat-Punch Ballet has a considerable amount of talent with The Eighties Super Wizard Discipline*. Such is his commitment to the discipline that he's gone so far as to wear sequinned clothing and keep his hair in a side-ponytail**.
*To be discussed next week.
**The council informed him*** that he didn't need to do this, but he has been undeterred.
***Forcefully
Use of The Eighties disciplines is not without risk and repercussion, however, and Throat-Punch Ballet has gotten in trouble because of this in the past. One of the more recent incidents involving his overuse of star wipes getting him trapped in a low-budget employee orientation video in the local Happyshine Combination Groceries, Pet store, and Sewage Treatment Plant*.
*For all your grocery and pet supply needs! Stay out of the back.
Last I heard, Throat-Punch Ballet had gotten himself trapped in the Tower Basement, which has made his retrieval difficult as no one knows where the Tower basement is. Still. I'm not sure if he's sent further communication regarding his situation because I only check my mail once a week, and it's not Friday yet. Perhaps we'll find out soon!
Sex: Male
Race: Eighties-Spawn
Hometown: ???
Strengths: The Eighties
Weaknesses: Misuse/overuse of The Eighties, luck, Glamomancy
History: Throat-Punch Ballet is one of the students referred to as Eighties-Spawn. These students have come about during use of Montages, and due to the nature of said montages, it's impossible to know where they really came from. Sometimes they're dancers, other times they're backup singers, but in all cases they don't really know how to get home. We didn't really know what else to do with him, and the Happyshine police don't typically like to handle mysterious appearances, so we made him a student.
Notes: Throat-Punch Ballet has expressed considerable interest in Glamomancy, but has shown a lack of compatibility as extreme as Taco Lightning's incredible compatibility. I didn't see for myself, but I'm told that he had such a low compatibility rating that he made the genetic sampler reassemble itself after Taco Lighting caused it to explode. This is impressive in its own way, but we're not really sure what it means.
Glamomancy aside, Throat-Punch Ballet has a considerable amount of talent with The Eighties Super Wizard Discipline*. Such is his commitment to the discipline that he's gone so far as to wear sequinned clothing and keep his hair in a side-ponytail**.
*To be discussed next week.
**The council informed him*** that he didn't need to do this, but he has been undeterred.
***Forcefully
Use of The Eighties disciplines is not without risk and repercussion, however, and Throat-Punch Ballet has gotten in trouble because of this in the past. One of the more recent incidents involving his overuse of star wipes getting him trapped in a low-budget employee orientation video in the local Happyshine Combination Groceries, Pet store, and Sewage Treatment Plant*.
*For all your grocery and pet supply needs! Stay out of the back.
Last I heard, Throat-Punch Ballet had gotten himself trapped in the Tower Basement, which has made his retrieval difficult as no one knows where the Tower basement is. Still. I'm not sure if he's sent further communication regarding his situation because I only check my mail once a week, and it's not Friday yet. Perhaps we'll find out soon!
Tuesday, January 17, 2017
Student Highlights Week 2: Taco Lightning
Name: Taco Lightning
Sex: Female
Race: Human
Hometown: Happyshine
Strengths: Glamomancy compatibility, Brainpower, kindness
Weaknesses: Timidness, Glamomancy in practice
History: Taco Lightning is one of the students to come from Happyshine. Her family has a long tradition of becoming Super Wizards, so it was a natural decision for her, and she's done rather well in her classes.
The whole Glamomancy thing as a whole is still somewhat controversial in the Tower. The Council has stressed the importance of Super Wizards branching out into the field, but has not elaborated much as to the reasons why. Taco Lightning is actually rather skilled in the Brainpower discipline, arguably one of our most promising students, but because of her compatibility with Glamomancy the Council has insisted that she switch her focus. This has not quite sat well with her for a number of reasons, not the least of which being the current lack of direction with Glamomancy as a whole.
It's not overly well-known, but Taco Lightning is Turbo Thunder's little sister.
Notes: Taco Lightning has been the most promising candidate for Glamomancy to date, causing the genetic sampler to explode in a cloud of sparkles and "zazz." That aside, she hasn't seemed to exhibit any of the usual characteristics we've come to expect from Glamomancy candidates. This isn't too out of the ordinary, however, considering how new the field is.
It should be noted that Taco Lightning has been taking classes from an unknown teacher as of late. The council is looking into what's going on with this, but she has appeared to have gone missing in the meantime.
Sex: Female
Race: Human
Hometown: Happyshine
Strengths: Glamomancy compatibility, Brainpower, kindness
Weaknesses: Timidness, Glamomancy in practice
History: Taco Lightning is one of the students to come from Happyshine. Her family has a long tradition of becoming Super Wizards, so it was a natural decision for her, and she's done rather well in her classes.
The whole Glamomancy thing as a whole is still somewhat controversial in the Tower. The Council has stressed the importance of Super Wizards branching out into the field, but has not elaborated much as to the reasons why. Taco Lightning is actually rather skilled in the Brainpower discipline, arguably one of our most promising students, but because of her compatibility with Glamomancy the Council has insisted that she switch her focus. This has not quite sat well with her for a number of reasons, not the least of which being the current lack of direction with Glamomancy as a whole.
It's not overly well-known, but Taco Lightning is Turbo Thunder's little sister.
Notes: Taco Lightning has been the most promising candidate for Glamomancy to date, causing the genetic sampler to explode in a cloud of sparkles and "zazz." That aside, she hasn't seemed to exhibit any of the usual characteristics we've come to expect from Glamomancy candidates. This isn't too out of the ordinary, however, considering how new the field is.
It should be noted that Taco Lightning has been taking classes from an unknown teacher as of late. The council is looking into what's going on with this, but she has appeared to have gone missing in the meantime.
Monday, January 16, 2017
Student Highlights Week 2: Ninja Bunny
Name: Ninja Bunny
Sex: Female
Race: Human-esque. Almost certainly.
Hometown: Dim Underchilly
Strengths: Rabbit Transmogrification, Math
Weaknesses: Being told to stop using Rabbit Transmogrification, attention span.
History: Ninja Bunny is one of the only Super Wizard students to come from Dim Underchilly (the other being Rodeo Nova, as previously mentioned). Her parents are cultists from the cult of the Screaming Bleeding Agony, but apparently decided she wasn't a great fit for the cult for "undisclosed reasons" and sent her to the Tower. It didn't seem like she'd take too well to Super Wizard education initially, until she was told about Rabbit Transmogrification. The Tower Psychologist predicts that it was around this time she jumped from a 1 to at least a 5 on the insanity scale.
Notes: Ninja Bunny has an unnaturally excessive level of skill in Rabbit Transmogrification, which is rivaled only by her equally unnaturally excessive desire to use Rabbit Transmogrification. You may recall the recent incident when classroom 2A had to be evacuated and closed for renovations. The reason this occurred was because Ninja Bunny turned everything in the classroom* into Rabbits. She was given detention but managed to transmogrify the Super Wizard in charge of detention. The council has decided that she probably learned her lesson and let her go***. According to the Tower Psychologist, Ninja Bunny rates at a 5 or a 6 on the insanity scale, so she's within acceptable bounds.
*Desks, chairs, students**, posters, etc.
**They're still trying to sort out the desk/chair/poster rabbits from the student rabbits. The accountant is unsure if he should count this towards the casualty quota, but for now he's decided to hold off.
***As none of the Elders have become rabbits (except for Elder Malcolm of course, who was already a rabbit), I assume Ninja Bunny was satisfied with this.
Ninja Bunny has a well-known rivalry of some sort with Rodeo Nova. While neither of them have really discussed it at any length, anyone who was there for the library incident knows about this. Rodeo Nova's antics with her hounds as of late seems to have exacerbated this problem somewhat.
The Tower Psychologist has been trying to determine if Ninja Bunny's constant use of Rabbit Transmogrification is rooted in some sort of sinister desire to transmogrify the entire world into rabbits, or if she's just easily amused and morally flexible. I'm told his research has been put on hold as he's been transmogrified into a rabbit.
Sex: Female
Race: Human-esque. Almost certainly.
Hometown: Dim Underchilly
Strengths: Rabbit Transmogrification, Math
Weaknesses: Being told to stop using Rabbit Transmogrification, attention span.
History: Ninja Bunny is one of the only Super Wizard students to come from Dim Underchilly (the other being Rodeo Nova, as previously mentioned). Her parents are cultists from the cult of the Screaming Bleeding Agony, but apparently decided she wasn't a great fit for the cult for "undisclosed reasons" and sent her to the Tower. It didn't seem like she'd take too well to Super Wizard education initially, until she was told about Rabbit Transmogrification. The Tower Psychologist predicts that it was around this time she jumped from a 1 to at least a 5 on the insanity scale.
Notes: Ninja Bunny has an unnaturally excessive level of skill in Rabbit Transmogrification, which is rivaled only by her equally unnaturally excessive desire to use Rabbit Transmogrification. You may recall the recent incident when classroom 2A had to be evacuated and closed for renovations. The reason this occurred was because Ninja Bunny turned everything in the classroom* into Rabbits. She was given detention but managed to transmogrify the Super Wizard in charge of detention. The council has decided that she probably learned her lesson and let her go***. According to the Tower Psychologist, Ninja Bunny rates at a 5 or a 6 on the insanity scale, so she's within acceptable bounds.
*Desks, chairs, students**, posters, etc.
**They're still trying to sort out the desk/chair/poster rabbits from the student rabbits. The accountant is unsure if he should count this towards the casualty quota, but for now he's decided to hold off.
***As none of the Elders have become rabbits (except for Elder Malcolm of course, who was already a rabbit), I assume Ninja Bunny was satisfied with this.
Ninja Bunny has a well-known rivalry of some sort with Rodeo Nova. While neither of them have really discussed it at any length, anyone who was there for the library incident knows about this. Rodeo Nova's antics with her hounds as of late seems to have exacerbated this problem somewhat.
The Tower Psychologist has been trying to determine if Ninja Bunny's constant use of Rabbit Transmogrification is rooted in some sort of sinister desire to transmogrify the entire world into rabbits, or if she's just easily amused and morally flexible. I'm told his research has been put on hold as he's been transmogrified into a rabbit.
Friday, January 13, 2017
Q&A With Lazer Gaiden (Part 9)
Hello Readers. While I'm attempting to quell this mind-numbing headache assaulting my senses from yesterday's festivities, let's jump right into this week's Q&A.
Asking for a friend...
Does the school have appropriate countermeasures to humanely corral phasing rabbits?
Asking for a friend...
Does the school have appropriate countermeasures to humanely corral phasing rabbits?
*shifty eyes*
Sincerely,
Ninja Bunny
Hello Ninja Bunny,
It's not particularly common knowledge, but phasing rabbits possess a startling amount of brainpower energy, but don't have much capacity to control it. This tends to result in the periodic 'venting' of the brainpower energy. In best case scenarios, this results in them blinking about through space or through walls. In worst case scenarios, it results in a pressing need for renovations and an angry Tower accountant.
The brainpower nature of these rabbits can be taken advantage of to lure them into traps, however. Brainpower aside, they are still rabbits. Standard traps can be baited with imaginary carrots if the trapper can imagine them hard enough. The phasing rabbits will pick up on the telepathic message and be drawn to the trap*.
It's not particularly common knowledge, but phasing rabbits possess a startling amount of brainpower energy, but don't have much capacity to control it. This tends to result in the periodic 'venting' of the brainpower energy. In best case scenarios, this results in them blinking about through space or through walls. In worst case scenarios, it results in a pressing need for renovations and an angry Tower accountant.
The brainpower nature of these rabbits can be taken advantage of to lure them into traps, however. Brainpower aside, they are still rabbits. Standard traps can be baited with imaginary carrots if the trapper can imagine them hard enough. The phasing rabbits will pick up on the telepathic message and be drawn to the trap*.
*IMPORTANT NOTE: When employing this method, DO NOT allow the phasing rabbits to eat the imaginary carrot!
HRH Fluff ‘n Stuff appears to have had a little “accident” near the stairs to the Elder Floors (this may or may not be a deliberate protest to their continued refusal to allow Mister Fluffypants to undertake the naming ceremony, you have no proof either way). Given her preference for fresh blood and quality deli meats, would you recommend bleach, an ammonium based cleaner, or complete vaporization of the entire hallway?
-Rodeo Nova
-Rodeo Nova
Hello Rodeo Nova,
This certainly explains a lot. Your dog's "accident" has already caused a number of student casualties (It's okay, it's a new year and our quotta was reset). The council has been debating how to handle the situation. The initial response was to attempt a pinpoint Orbital Satellite strike, but the Tower accountant has discouraged use of pinpoint Orbital Satellite strikes for cleaning purposes. For the time being, they've decided to send in the Tower janitor, Frank Stein. It's not a big deal if we lose Frank, Elder Steve can bring him back as many times as necessary. If that doesn't work, I believe the Council has a number of other plans, some involving fire, before we resort to the pinpoint Orbital Satellite strike whether the Tower Accountant approves or not.
Hello sir...
I don't mean to pry, but didn't you say a few weeks ago that you were going to discuss Glamomancy? You never did, and the lesson plans are getting progressively stranger without any explanation...
-Taco Lightning
Hello Taco Lightning,
Yes, I was going to go into more detail regarding Glamomancy, but it turns out the art is a bit more complicated than we originally anticipated. It would seem that Glamomancy has a good side and a darker, more sinister side. The lesson plans are currently being reviewed by the Tower Ethical Expert. Your classes should have been canceled until further notice, I'm not sure who's running your classes. Please come to my office at your earliest convenience to discuss this further.
I'm locked in the Tower basement! Help?
-Throat-Punch Ballet
Hello Throat-Punch Ballet,
Very creative dodging of the questions only rule!
Equally impressive (but likely unfortunate for you, I fear) is that you've found the Tower basement! Nobody has yet to locate that. You'll have to let someone know where it is for us to come get you. Until then, good luck on your attempts to survive until then!
Dear Lazer Gaiden,
Where am I?
-Lesser Evil
Hello Lesser Evil,
That's a very good question. There may have actually been more to this, but representatives from Crimson Bovine confiscated it pretty much immediately and this is all I could read.
The Council actually managed to contact Elder [NAME DELETED] regarding your situation. I'm told he was sporting a two dimensional lab-coat with six-dimensions of colors thatdrove encouraged a number of nearby students insane to enroll in Kung-Futhulhu. She agreed to keep an eye out for you and Space Slayer in journey across all planes, before turning into a floating drawing of a frowny face and bending sideways out of existence. Hope to see you back at the tower soon*!
*For all our sakes.
Well, that does it for Q&A for this week. Good luck to all of you surviving Torp's apocalyptic nonsense this weekend!
This certainly explains a lot. Your dog's "accident" has already caused a number of student casualties (It's okay, it's a new year and our quotta was reset). The council has been debating how to handle the situation. The initial response was to attempt a pinpoint Orbital Satellite strike, but the Tower accountant has discouraged use of pinpoint Orbital Satellite strikes for cleaning purposes. For the time being, they've decided to send in the Tower janitor, Frank Stein. It's not a big deal if we lose Frank, Elder Steve can bring him back as many times as necessary. If that doesn't work, I believe the Council has a number of other plans, some involving fire, before we resort to the pinpoint Orbital Satellite strike whether the Tower Accountant approves or not.
Hello sir...
I don't mean to pry, but didn't you say a few weeks ago that you were going to discuss Glamomancy? You never did, and the lesson plans are getting progressively stranger without any explanation...
-Taco Lightning
Hello Taco Lightning,
Yes, I was going to go into more detail regarding Glamomancy, but it turns out the art is a bit more complicated than we originally anticipated. It would seem that Glamomancy has a good side and a darker, more sinister side. The lesson plans are currently being reviewed by the Tower Ethical Expert. Your classes should have been canceled until further notice, I'm not sure who's running your classes. Please come to my office at your earliest convenience to discuss this further.
I'm locked in the Tower basement! Help?
-Throat-Punch Ballet
Hello Throat-Punch Ballet,
Very creative dodging of the questions only rule!
Equally impressive (but likely unfortunate for you, I fear) is that you've found the Tower basement! Nobody has yet to locate that. You'll have to let someone know where it is for us to come get you. Until then, good luck on your attempts to survive until then!
Dear Lazer Gaiden,
Where am I?
-Lesser Evil
Hello Lesser Evil,
That's a very good question. There may have actually been more to this, but representatives from Crimson Bovine confiscated it pretty much immediately and this is all I could read.
The Council actually managed to contact Elder [NAME DELETED] regarding your situation. I'm told he was sporting a two dimensional lab-coat with six-dimensions of colors that
*For all our sakes.
Well, that does it for Q&A for this week. Good luck to all of you surviving Torp's apocalyptic nonsense this weekend!
Thursday, January 12, 2017
The Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill (Part 1)
Wolf Knight, Turbo Thunder, and Burning Mermaid walked down the path. Their clothing was torn, they had several scratches on their skin, and Turbo had a small fire on his head.
"We are never going hunting in the Cavern of Fireflies again." Wolf Knight said, finally.
"I swear to Torp I've never heard of fireflies being associated with actual fire." Turbo said.
"That's because they weren't fireflies, they were dragonflies." Burning Mermaid corrected, swatting out the fire on Turbo's head.
"At least he didn't suggest hunting in the Forest of Ages." Wolf Knight said.
"Of course not! It's starting to get dark out, and nobody wants to get caught out there at night. Turbo said, defensively.
“Anyway.” Wolf knight continued. “We’re going to need to get some real food. The brochure says we’re pretty close to this Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill. Let’s just go there.”
“Eating at a restaurant in the Dark Undercold?! Are you crazy?!” Turbo exclaimed.
"It's not technically the Dark Undercold." Burning Mermaid replied. "It's at the far end of Dim Underchilly. Rodeo Nova would probably have strong words with you for saying she comes from the Dark Undercold. Some would probably be quite cross, although others would probably be incoherent."
“You could just have the last Meal.” Wolf Knight suggested, patting his bag.
“...Point taken. All right, let’s just keep our guard up.” Turbo said, defeated.
The trio followed the map and it wasn’t long until they came across a large building off the road. A massive sign informed them that this was, indeed, the Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill. A neon sign depicted a robed figure jabbing a knife into a man on a slab. Both of them were giving a thumbs up sign. Wolf Knight and Turbo exchanged a glance.
“It’s probably just a theme restaurant.” Wolf Knight said, as they made their way to the entrance.
"Yes, that's clearly the most likely scenario here." Burning Mermaid added. Wolf Knight wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic, and Turbo seemed as oblivious as ever, so he decided to drop it.
"Welcome to the Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill!" The perky greeter chirped. She wore thick, red robes that covered her entire body and bore images of faces screaming in agony. A name tag was pinned on the right side of her chest that read ‘Hi, my name is Jenny!’ "Party of three? Follow me and we'll get you seated. The dinner show is just about to start!" She guided them to an empty table, gave them menus and gestured to the pyramid structure in the center of the restaurant. At the top of the pyramid, a priest was standing over a blindfolded man laying on a stone altar.
"This man has received the great honor of being the next sacrifice!" The priest announced. The blindfolded man on the altar raises both of his arms and made horn symbols with them. "Glory to Lord Darkblood Killdeath!" The priest continued, and plunged the dagger into the man's heart. Pyrotechnic jets of flame shot up and neon lights flashed all around the pyramid. The crowd let out a cheer as the man's body was lifted and taken into the back of the restaurant.
Wolf Knight urgently flagged over the nearest waiter, and the robed figure quickly approached the table.
“You had a question about the menu, sir?”
“It says here that your steaks are made with ‘100% grade A meat.’”
“That’s absolutely right. We have only the finest meat.”
“Could you be a bit more specific?”
“About what, sir?”
“The meat.”
“It’s the finest meat.”
“Yes, but meat from what?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“The meat? What’s it from?”
“The kitchen, sir.”
Wolf Knight closed his eyes in frustration. “Yes, I figured that. But what IS the meat?”
“It’s food. I’m sorry sir, I just assumed you would know that.”
“Yes, I’m aware that it’s food. That’s why we’re in a restaurant.”
“Then what is the issue?”
“What kind of meat is it? Is it beef?”
“It’s only the finest meat.”
“Yes, but...you know what, I think I’ll just have the salad.”
"And you, sir?" The waiter asked Turbo.
Turbo glanced between the waiter and Wolf Knight. "I think, for once...I'll agree with Wolf Knight on this." he said, finally.
"And for the lady?" The waiter asked, looking to Burning Mermaid.
"Yeah I'll take the steak." She said. Wolf Knight and Turbo stared at her as the waiter left with their orders. "What?" She asked.
"But...the meat..." Turbo said.
Burning Mermaid shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time."
Turbo Thunder and Wolf Knight scooted their chairs just a bit further from Burning Mermaid.
"We are never going hunting in the Cavern of Fireflies again." Wolf Knight said, finally.
"I swear to Torp I've never heard of fireflies being associated with actual fire." Turbo said.
"That's because they weren't fireflies, they were dragonflies." Burning Mermaid corrected, swatting out the fire on Turbo's head.
"At least he didn't suggest hunting in the Forest of Ages." Wolf Knight said.
"Of course not! It's starting to get dark out, and nobody wants to get caught out there at night. Turbo said, defensively.
“Anyway.” Wolf knight continued. “We’re going to need to get some real food. The brochure says we’re pretty close to this Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill. Let’s just go there.”
“Eating at a restaurant in the Dark Undercold?! Are you crazy?!” Turbo exclaimed.
"It's not technically the Dark Undercold." Burning Mermaid replied. "It's at the far end of Dim Underchilly. Rodeo Nova would probably have strong words with you for saying she comes from the Dark Undercold. Some would probably be quite cross, although others would probably be incoherent."
“You could just have the last Meal.” Wolf Knight suggested, patting his bag.
“...Point taken. All right, let’s just keep our guard up.” Turbo said, defeated.
The trio followed the map and it wasn’t long until they came across a large building off the road. A massive sign informed them that this was, indeed, the Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill. A neon sign depicted a robed figure jabbing a knife into a man on a slab. Both of them were giving a thumbs up sign. Wolf Knight and Turbo exchanged a glance.
“It’s probably just a theme restaurant.” Wolf Knight said, as they made their way to the entrance.
"Yes, that's clearly the most likely scenario here." Burning Mermaid added. Wolf Knight wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic, and Turbo seemed as oblivious as ever, so he decided to drop it.
"Welcome to the Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill!" The perky greeter chirped. She wore thick, red robes that covered her entire body and bore images of faces screaming in agony. A name tag was pinned on the right side of her chest that read ‘Hi, my name is Jenny!’ "Party of three? Follow me and we'll get you seated. The dinner show is just about to start!" She guided them to an empty table, gave them menus and gestured to the pyramid structure in the center of the restaurant. At the top of the pyramid, a priest was standing over a blindfolded man laying on a stone altar.
"This man has received the great honor of being the next sacrifice!" The priest announced. The blindfolded man on the altar raises both of his arms and made horn symbols with them. "Glory to Lord Darkblood Killdeath!" The priest continued, and plunged the dagger into the man's heart. Pyrotechnic jets of flame shot up and neon lights flashed all around the pyramid. The crowd let out a cheer as the man's body was lifted and taken into the back of the restaurant.
Wolf Knight urgently flagged over the nearest waiter, and the robed figure quickly approached the table.
“You had a question about the menu, sir?”
“It says here that your steaks are made with ‘100% grade A meat.’”
“That’s absolutely right. We have only the finest meat.”
“Could you be a bit more specific?”
“About what, sir?”
“The meat.”
“It’s the finest meat.”
“Yes, but meat from what?”
“I beg your pardon?”
“The meat? What’s it from?”
“The kitchen, sir.”
Wolf Knight closed his eyes in frustration. “Yes, I figured that. But what IS the meat?”
“It’s food. I’m sorry sir, I just assumed you would know that.”
“Yes, I’m aware that it’s food. That’s why we’re in a restaurant.”
“Then what is the issue?”
“What kind of meat is it? Is it beef?”
“It’s only the finest meat.”
“Yes, but...you know what, I think I’ll just have the salad.”
"And you, sir?" The waiter asked Turbo.
Turbo glanced between the waiter and Wolf Knight. "I think, for once...I'll agree with Wolf Knight on this." he said, finally.
"And for the lady?" The waiter asked, looking to Burning Mermaid.
"Yeah I'll take the steak." She said. Wolf Knight and Turbo stared at her as the waiter left with their orders. "What?" She asked.
"But...the meat..." Turbo said.
Burning Mermaid shrugged. "It wouldn't be the first time."
Turbo Thunder and Wolf Knight scooted their chairs just a bit further from Burning Mermaid.
Tuesday, January 10, 2017
Tower Happenings Tuesday (Part 2)
Hello readers!
It's time, once more, for Tower Happenings Tuesday! In case you don't recall, Tower Happenings Tuesday is an entry that the Council requests that we do here every now and again, mostly during particularly eventful weeks. So let's see what we've got going on this week!
Tuesday (Today): There will be a Dragon Angel drill today. As is traditional, you won't know when it's coming*. Extra credit for this drill will be given to those who give the most convincing impression of being obliterated.
*Much like a true Dragon Angel attack.
Wednesday: The Happyshine "Totally Legit" Vocational School (Down at the Docks branch) will be holding an event at the Tower on Wednesday to showcase some of their more popular classes. As you know, the Tower and the Vocational school have an agreement that allows Super Wizard students to take a number of classes free of charge. The representative will be showing some of their new classes at this event, like Kneecapping for Hobbyists and Professionals, Nefarious But Mostly Legal Alchemy, and Ferreting out Squealers. You won't want to miss it!
Thursday: Thursday is Elder Fred's birthday! As of such, students and graduates and retired Super Wizards, as well as nobility from the world over will be making their yearly pilgrimage to the tower to join him in celebration! Classes will be canceled as most Elders and Super Wizards will be too intoxicated to teach them. Students should expect all Super Wizards and Elders to be grumpier than usual on Friday, and they should probably avoid them at all costs.
Friday: Classes will be canceled this Friday as all at the Tower observe the Nelson Ascension.
Saturday: Elder Mary will be holding a scavenger hunt of some sort at the Plains of Abandonment on Saturday. All students are required to attend. I think she's looking for something specific there, but whenever I ask her she just says "One day, I'll find it." And stares off wistfully into the horizon* until I get bored and walk away.
*Or, if she's indoor, at a wall.
Sunday: The Scripture of Torp says that an apocalyptic event will take place on Sunday. I don't put a lot of stock into the Scripture of Torp, but the Tower is required to provide Torpers with passes to leave Tower grounds for the day to await their end in the company of loved ones. The pass is only good for one day, however, and classes resume Monday as per usual.
Monday: Assuming Torp doesn't smite the world with his lightning discus orsome other such nonsense, Monday will be a standard class day. The Council has informed me of some sort of quest they want me to take, however. Depending on the details, Monday will either see an entry from my intern or the start of the second Student Highlight week.
It's time, once more, for Tower Happenings Tuesday! In case you don't recall, Tower Happenings Tuesday is an entry that the Council requests that we do here every now and again, mostly during particularly eventful weeks. So let's see what we've got going on this week!
Tuesday (Today): There will be a Dragon Angel drill today. As is traditional, you won't know when it's coming*. Extra credit for this drill will be given to those who give the most convincing impression of being obliterated.
*Much like a true Dragon Angel attack.
Wednesday: The Happyshine "Totally Legit" Vocational School (Down at the Docks branch) will be holding an event at the Tower on Wednesday to showcase some of their more popular classes. As you know, the Tower and the Vocational school have an agreement that allows Super Wizard students to take a number of classes free of charge. The representative will be showing some of their new classes at this event, like Kneecapping for Hobbyists and Professionals, Nefarious But Mostly Legal Alchemy, and Ferreting out Squealers. You won't want to miss it!
Thursday: Thursday is Elder Fred's birthday! As of such, students and graduates and retired Super Wizards, as well as nobility from the world over will be making their yearly pilgrimage to the tower to join him in celebration! Classes will be canceled as most Elders and Super Wizards will be too intoxicated to teach them. Students should expect all Super Wizards and Elders to be grumpier than usual on Friday, and they should probably avoid them at all costs.
Friday: Classes will be canceled this Friday as all at the Tower observe the Nelson Ascension.
Saturday: Elder Mary will be holding a scavenger hunt of some sort at the Plains of Abandonment on Saturday. All students are required to attend. I think she's looking for something specific there, but whenever I ask her she just says "One day, I'll find it." And stares off wistfully into the horizon* until I get bored and walk away.
*Or, if she's indoor, at a wall.
Sunday: The Scripture of Torp says that an apocalyptic event will take place on Sunday. I don't put a lot of stock into the Scripture of Torp, but the Tower is required to provide Torpers with passes to leave Tower grounds for the day to await their end in the company of loved ones. The pass is only good for one day, however, and classes resume Monday as per usual.
Monday: Assuming Torp doesn't smite the world with his lightning discus or
Monday, January 9, 2017
Super Wizard Bestiary (Part 1)
Hello readers!
It's no secret that our world is inhabited by a number of creatures that run the gambit of the magical and mystical, the dangerous and deadly, and even the impractical and asinine. Mystical creatures of the world can be (and is) a class all on its own, but I'd like to touch on them now and again. Some of these creatures are relatively common, so it's important to know how to deal with them when they're encountered in the wild.
Fireflies
Danger level: None
Where to find them: Fireflies are commonly found during the summer in most places. They can be found year round in the Cavern of Fireflies (which was, as you may have guessed, named for this reason).
Description: They're small insects that light up. They can be pretty, especially in large groups.
How to deal with them: You can just ignore them, they typically won't bother people. Children often capture them in the summer.
Lightning Bugs
Danger Level: Low to medium.
Where to find them: Lightning bugs are most commonly found in the Swamp of Unfortunate Surprises
Description: Lightning Bugs can be nasty creatures. They're fist sized flying insects that drain a victim's life energy, and they can discharge stored energy as a defense mechanism. It's not a good idea to swat these guys while they're feeding. It's usually not fatal, but you will regret the decision. Legends say that Lightning Bugs were created by the god Torp to punish man for something inane, as gods tend to do. Are there any truths to these legends? Like all religious matters, the answer is a resounding 'Maybe, but probably not!'
How to deal with them: Lightning bugs are really just one of many reasons to not go to the Swamp of Unfortunate Surprises. I mean, just look at the name!
Dragon Angel
Danger Level: You're probably already dead
Where to find them: Hopefully only in your nightmares.
Description: Dragon Angels are basically the worst possible creature you can ever run into. As the name suggests, they're part dragon and part entity of questionable existence. Fortunately, they're extremely rare. It's been a long time since the last Dragon Angel has been spotted. I'd tell you where it appeared, but you wouldn't recognize the name because it hasn't existed since the last time a Dragon Angel was spotted. Yes, these two facts are related.
How to deal with them: N/A
IT Departments
Danger Level: Low to high, depending on how comfortable you are with insectoids and foul ichor.
Where to find them: Skittering away when you turn on a light.
Description: IT Departments tend to infest facilities shortly after they open their doors. They're helpful for setting up technological infrastructure, and you might even think they're benign until the disappearances start.
How to deal with them: You can buy traps at most convenience stores and bait them with coffee and overtime checks. Serious cases may require exterminators.
It's no secret that our world is inhabited by a number of creatures that run the gambit of the magical and mystical, the dangerous and deadly, and even the impractical and asinine. Mystical creatures of the world can be (and is) a class all on its own, but I'd like to touch on them now and again. Some of these creatures are relatively common, so it's important to know how to deal with them when they're encountered in the wild.
Fireflies
Danger level: None
Where to find them: Fireflies are commonly found during the summer in most places. They can be found year round in the Cavern of Fireflies (which was, as you may have guessed, named for this reason).
Description: They're small insects that light up. They can be pretty, especially in large groups.
How to deal with them: You can just ignore them, they typically won't bother people. Children often capture them in the summer.
Lightning Bugs
Danger Level: Low to medium.
Where to find them: Lightning bugs are most commonly found in the Swamp of Unfortunate Surprises
Description: Lightning Bugs can be nasty creatures. They're fist sized flying insects that drain a victim's life energy, and they can discharge stored energy as a defense mechanism. It's not a good idea to swat these guys while they're feeding. It's usually not fatal, but you will regret the decision. Legends say that Lightning Bugs were created by the god Torp to punish man for something inane, as gods tend to do. Are there any truths to these legends? Like all religious matters, the answer is a resounding 'Maybe, but probably not!'
How to deal with them: Lightning bugs are really just one of many reasons to not go to the Swamp of Unfortunate Surprises. I mean, just look at the name!
Dragon Angel
Danger Level: You're probably already dead
Where to find them: Hopefully only in your nightmares.
Description: Dragon Angels are basically the worst possible creature you can ever run into. As the name suggests, they're part dragon and part entity of questionable existence. Fortunately, they're extremely rare. It's been a long time since the last Dragon Angel has been spotted. I'd tell you where it appeared, but you wouldn't recognize the name because it hasn't existed since the last time a Dragon Angel was spotted. Yes, these two facts are related.
How to deal with them: N/A
IT Departments
Danger Level: Low to high, depending on how comfortable you are with insectoids and foul ichor.
Where to find them: Skittering away when you turn on a light.
Description: IT Departments tend to infest facilities shortly after they open their doors. They're helpful for setting up technological infrastructure, and you might even think they're benign until the disappearances start.
How to deal with them: You can buy traps at most convenience stores and bait them with coffee and overtime checks. Serious cases may require exterminators.
Friday, January 6, 2017
Q&A With Lazer Gaiden (Part 8)
Hey everyone, it's time for Q&A!
Due to the kitchen being, well, the kitchen, where is the best place to find quality deli meats in Happyshine?
-Rodeo Nova
Hello Rodeo Nova!
Your best bet for quality deli meats is to try Delimancy.
I should clarify here, as this has caused some confusion in the past. Delimancy is not a school of magic (not that Super Wizards use, at least), but the name of a Deli in Happyshine. The Sand-witches there can hook you up with some of the best meat in Happyshine. Just don't ask where it comes from or how it comes to be. The Sand-witches don't share the secrets of their arts*, and we probably don't want to know their secrets anyway.
*The sand-witches are incredibly protective of their arts, lest they fall into the hands of competitors or health inspectors.
On the off-chance that the profane, unholy, and altogether unclean practice of delimancy makes you uncomfortable, you can also visit Dirty Ned's Meat Alternatives Deli and Hardware Store. Full disclosure though, their "meats" are made of dirt.
Dear Lazer Gaiden,
When did all of the towers dogs begin to sound like Elder George? More importantly, how did I not notice this until now?
The ever faithful,
Lesser Evil
Hello Lesser Evil.
I'm going to be completely honest here Lesser Evil, I'm not sure how you're messaging me, or why
your questions are coming on mysterious objects dripping with unquestionably disgusting substances of questionable sentience. I'm also not sure how you're aware of anything going on at the tower, since you haven't been here in some time.
Well, you don't seem quite aware of what's going on. To the extent of my knowledge, only one Rodeo Nova's dogs sounds like Elder George. I'm not sure how you'd miss th-
Wait a second, you're not exploring parallel universes, are you? You should know that that's strictly against the rules in the handbook! You're getting so much detention when you get back.
Sir, I've noticed that your updates have been somewhat irregular as of late. Is there any reason for this? Is everything alright?
-Taco Lightning
Hello Taco Lightning.
Thank you for your concern, but everything is alright. It's just a busy time of year, with the holidays and all that. The good news is that the previous year was defeated, but not without some time scars. They'll probably heal eventually, but if you see any tears in the fabric of reality while going about your business in the tower, please steer clear of them and report them to the Council as soon as possible. Time scars need to be treated with time bandages.
Well readers, I believe it's time for us to wrap up this week's Q&A. Representatives from Crimson Bovine have arrived to examine the substance that Lesser Evil's question was coated in, and I don't want to be on the wrong side of their flavor maces. See you Monday!
Due to the kitchen being, well, the kitchen, where is the best place to find quality deli meats in Happyshine?
-Rodeo Nova
Hello Rodeo Nova!
Your best bet for quality deli meats is to try Delimancy.
I should clarify here, as this has caused some confusion in the past. Delimancy is not a school of magic (not that Super Wizards use, at least), but the name of a Deli in Happyshine. The Sand-witches there can hook you up with some of the best meat in Happyshine. Just don't ask where it comes from or how it comes to be. The Sand-witches don't share the secrets of their arts*, and we probably don't want to know their secrets anyway.
*The sand-witches are incredibly protective of their arts, lest they fall into the hands of competitors or health inspectors.
On the off-chance that the profane, unholy, and altogether unclean practice of delimancy makes you uncomfortable, you can also visit Dirty Ned's Meat Alternatives Deli and Hardware Store. Full disclosure though, their "meats" are made of dirt.
Dear Lazer Gaiden,
When did all of the towers dogs begin to sound like Elder George? More importantly, how did I not notice this until now?
The ever faithful,
Lesser Evil
Hello Lesser Evil.
I'm going to be completely honest here Lesser Evil, I'm not sure how you're messaging me, or why
your questions are coming on mysterious objects dripping with unquestionably disgusting substances of questionable sentience. I'm also not sure how you're aware of anything going on at the tower, since you haven't been here in some time.
Well, you don't seem quite aware of what's going on. To the extent of my knowledge, only one Rodeo Nova's dogs sounds like Elder George. I'm not sure how you'd miss th-
Wait a second, you're not exploring parallel universes, are you? You should know that that's strictly against the rules in the handbook! You're getting so much detention when you get back.
Sir, I've noticed that your updates have been somewhat irregular as of late. Is there any reason for this? Is everything alright?
-Taco Lightning
Hello Taco Lightning.
Thank you for your concern, but everything is alright. It's just a busy time of year, with the holidays and all that. The good news is that the previous year was defeated, but not without some time scars. They'll probably heal eventually, but if you see any tears in the fabric of reality while going about your business in the tower, please steer clear of them and report them to the Council as soon as possible. Time scars need to be treated with time bandages.
Well readers, I believe it's time for us to wrap up this week's Q&A. Representatives from Crimson Bovine have arrived to examine the substance that Lesser Evil's question was coated in, and I don't want to be on the wrong side of their flavor maces. See you Monday!
Wednesday, January 4, 2017
The Kingdom of Happyshine (Part 1)
Hello everyone! Intern Super Wizard Tornado Lighting* here! I'm filling in for Lazer Gaiden today, and he's tasked me with writing a bit about the Kingdom of Happyshine.
*Before you ask, because everyone does, not a typo. I was really bad at spelling when I took the naming ceremony and it's forbidden for Super Wizards to change their names.
The Kingdom of Happyshine is known for many things, as has been touched on at several points in the past. In the main city you can find the Super Wizard Tower, of course, but there's a number of other important locations. Happyshine is the name of the main city as well as the surrounding country, and it contains a number of famous landmarks.
The Tower: The Super Wizard Tower exists in the middle of Happyshine, and it's usually the first thing you can see when approaching the city. It's very tall. Of course, it's also not the only Super Wizard tower, but nobody cares about the other ones because they're *comments deleted*
Crimson Bovine headquarters: Located on the outskirts of Happyshine, with no people living within a 5 mile radius for "undisclosed reasons," this is where Crimson Bovine makes their dark flavor magic happen! I hear that the run-off from their factory intersected with a small village of some sort once, and *comments deleted, Tornado Lighting, please see me when you read this - Lazer Gaiden*.
The Cliffs of Inconceivable Frustration: A short walk from the gates of the city of Happyshine will bring you to the Cliffs of Inconceivable Frustration. It's actually a rather nice spot for a picnic, and the cliffs look rather pretty. No one's been able to determine what exactly they're made of, but they bear the appearance of polished obsidian. They're not obsidian though. I hear one of the older Super Wizards said they're made of the physical manifestation of frustration, but that sounds stupid.
The Desert of Sorrow: This place sucks. It's hot, dry, and supernaturally depressing. The Super Wizards are mounting an ongoing campaign to slay the desert, but I don't think they've had much success as of yet. Most of the ones who have come back from there are depressed, but that might just be the desert talking.
The Cavern of Fireflies: One of the prettier landmarks in Happyshine, the Cavern of Fireflies is the only place where you can find fireflies year round. Normally, they just show up during the summer. The Cavern doesn't really see a lot of travel, although they're the only realistic way to get to the Dark Undercold (not counting the Cliffs of Inconceivable Frustration, of course, but only an idiot would attempt that). There's not a lot of people that actually WANT to go to the Dark Undercold. People are more likely to be headed to and from Dim Underchilly, although not many people want to go there either.
The Forest of Ages: The Forest of Ages lies on the other side of the Cavern of Fireflies. I don't really know a whole lot about that place. It's not dangerous, from what I hear, as long as you're not there at night.
The Plains of Abandonment: One of the locations adjacent to the city of Happyshine. The Plains of Abandonment are weird. They tend to attract things that have been lost for one reason or another. People, objects, statues, pieces of buildings. It's actually pretty common for people to wander the plains in search of things of value. Doing that can be dangerous too though, I hear some guy "found" a tiger there once. Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say the tiger found his lunch. Heh.
*Before you ask, because everyone does, not a typo. I was really bad at spelling when I took the naming ceremony and it's forbidden for Super Wizards to change their names.
The Kingdom of Happyshine is known for many things, as has been touched on at several points in the past. In the main city you can find the Super Wizard Tower, of course, but there's a number of other important locations. Happyshine is the name of the main city as well as the surrounding country, and it contains a number of famous landmarks.
The Tower: The Super Wizard Tower exists in the middle of Happyshine, and it's usually the first thing you can see when approaching the city. It's very tall. Of course, it's also not the only Super Wizard tower, but nobody cares about the other ones because they're *comments deleted*
Crimson Bovine headquarters: Located on the outskirts of Happyshine, with no people living within a 5 mile radius for "undisclosed reasons," this is where Crimson Bovine makes their dark flavor magic happen! I hear that the run-off from their factory intersected with a small village of some sort once, and *comments deleted, Tornado Lighting, please see me when you read this - Lazer Gaiden*.
The Cliffs of Inconceivable Frustration: A short walk from the gates of the city of Happyshine will bring you to the Cliffs of Inconceivable Frustration. It's actually a rather nice spot for a picnic, and the cliffs look rather pretty. No one's been able to determine what exactly they're made of, but they bear the appearance of polished obsidian. They're not obsidian though. I hear one of the older Super Wizards said they're made of the physical manifestation of frustration, but that sounds stupid.
The Desert of Sorrow: This place sucks. It's hot, dry, and supernaturally depressing. The Super Wizards are mounting an ongoing campaign to slay the desert, but I don't think they've had much success as of yet. Most of the ones who have come back from there are depressed, but that might just be the desert talking.
The Cavern of Fireflies: One of the prettier landmarks in Happyshine, the Cavern of Fireflies is the only place where you can find fireflies year round. Normally, they just show up during the summer. The Cavern doesn't really see a lot of travel, although they're the only realistic way to get to the Dark Undercold (not counting the Cliffs of Inconceivable Frustration, of course, but only an idiot would attempt that). There's not a lot of people that actually WANT to go to the Dark Undercold. People are more likely to be headed to and from Dim Underchilly, although not many people want to go there either.
The Forest of Ages: The Forest of Ages lies on the other side of the Cavern of Fireflies. I don't really know a whole lot about that place. It's not dangerous, from what I hear, as long as you're not there at night.
The Plains of Abandonment: One of the locations adjacent to the city of Happyshine. The Plains of Abandonment are weird. They tend to attract things that have been lost for one reason or another. People, objects, statues, pieces of buildings. It's actually pretty common for people to wander the plains in search of things of value. Doing that can be dangerous too though, I hear some guy "found" a tiger there once. Well, I guess it would be more accurate to say the tiger found his lunch. Heh.
Tuesday, January 3, 2017
"Mealz"
"So what's the deal with the Cavern of Fireflies?" Burning Mermaid asked, as the trio walked down the road towards their destination.
"It's one of the few places you can find Fireflies year round." Turbo replied.
"Let me guess." Wolf Knight chimed in. "They're flies that are made of literal fire, and none who have entered the cave have survived."
Turbo gave Wolf Knight a sidelong look. "No man, they're just bugs that light up in the dark. Kind of pretty, really."
"Oh." Wolf Knight replied, genuinely surprised. "That's uh...not what I was expecting."
"Lightning bugs, though, they're a different story entirely." Turbo added, and stopped as his stomach rumbled loudly. "Er..."
"It's alright, we've been on the road for a while. We should probably stop and have something to eat.” Wolf Knight said. The trio walked off the path and set their packs at the base of a tree as Wolf Knight took the boxes suspiciously labeled ‘Mealz’ from his bag and handed one to Turbo. Turbo visibly paled.
“They gave you mealz?!” He said, in a hushed tone.
“...yes?”
“Oh gods...the horrors of the Super Wizard kitchens have been spoken of in terrified whispers ever since I started school here.”
Wolf Knight rolled his eyes and offered one to Burning Mermaid. She shook her head.
"I've been to the Tower Kitchens and I know the horrors they contain. I'll pass." she said, folding her arms.
Wolf Knight stared at the two of them for a moment, and then looked back at the box in front of him. He opened it up to reveal leaves, twigs, berries, something that could have been animal(?) jerky or leather, and various small rocks. He let out a long sigh. “This is about what I expected, yeah.”
With considerably more caution, Turbo slowly opened one of the other meal boxes. There was a flurry of chatters, fur, and claws, and a terrified squirrel exploded out of the box and shot up the tree.
“I see no expense has been spared in preparations for this critically important quest.” Wolf Knight said.
“Maybe they’re trying to politely hint that they want you to enroll in rabies training.” Turbo suggested.
“That would not be a polite hint, Turbo. That would be an assassination attempt.” Wolf Knight said, eyeing his companion.
Turbo shrugged.
"Nobody expects weaponized squirrels." Burning Mermaid added. "But frankly, I've seen much worse come out of the tower kitchens, if they really wanted you dead we'd probably all be dead."
Wolf Knight shook his head, carefully slipping the final box back into his bag. "Not really helping to put my mind at ease." he said. "We'll have to forage or hunt for some food, I guess."
Turbo beamed. "I've taken a few classes in Huntomancy, I can help with that!" he exclaimed, and before the other two could stop him, he ran off into the trees. His two companions stood at the edge of the forest, weighing their options.
"...We should probably find him before he eats something poisonous." Wolf Knight said, finally.
"Must we?"
He hesitated a moment. "...Yeah, I guess so."
"It's one of the few places you can find Fireflies year round." Turbo replied.
"Let me guess." Wolf Knight chimed in. "They're flies that are made of literal fire, and none who have entered the cave have survived."
Turbo gave Wolf Knight a sidelong look. "No man, they're just bugs that light up in the dark. Kind of pretty, really."
"Oh." Wolf Knight replied, genuinely surprised. "That's uh...not what I was expecting."
"Lightning bugs, though, they're a different story entirely." Turbo added, and stopped as his stomach rumbled loudly. "Er..."
"It's alright, we've been on the road for a while. We should probably stop and have something to eat.” Wolf Knight said. The trio walked off the path and set their packs at the base of a tree as Wolf Knight took the boxes suspiciously labeled ‘Mealz’ from his bag and handed one to Turbo. Turbo visibly paled.
“They gave you mealz?!” He said, in a hushed tone.
“...yes?”
“Oh gods...the horrors of the Super Wizard kitchens have been spoken of in terrified whispers ever since I started school here.”
Wolf Knight rolled his eyes and offered one to Burning Mermaid. She shook her head.
"I've been to the Tower Kitchens and I know the horrors they contain. I'll pass." she said, folding her arms.
Wolf Knight stared at the two of them for a moment, and then looked back at the box in front of him. He opened it up to reveal leaves, twigs, berries, something that could have been animal(?) jerky or leather, and various small rocks. He let out a long sigh. “This is about what I expected, yeah.”
With considerably more caution, Turbo slowly opened one of the other meal boxes. There was a flurry of chatters, fur, and claws, and a terrified squirrel exploded out of the box and shot up the tree.
“I see no expense has been spared in preparations for this critically important quest.” Wolf Knight said.
“Maybe they’re trying to politely hint that they want you to enroll in rabies training.” Turbo suggested.
“That would not be a polite hint, Turbo. That would be an assassination attempt.” Wolf Knight said, eyeing his companion.
Turbo shrugged.
"Nobody expects weaponized squirrels." Burning Mermaid added. "But frankly, I've seen much worse come out of the tower kitchens, if they really wanted you dead we'd probably all be dead."
Wolf Knight shook his head, carefully slipping the final box back into his bag. "Not really helping to put my mind at ease." he said. "We'll have to forage or hunt for some food, I guess."
Turbo beamed. "I've taken a few classes in Huntomancy, I can help with that!" he exclaimed, and before the other two could stop him, he ran off into the trees. His two companions stood at the edge of the forest, weighing their options.
"...We should probably find him before he eats something poisonous." Wolf Knight said, finally.
"Must we?"
He hesitated a moment. "...Yeah, I guess so."
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)