The Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill (Part 1)

Wolf Knight, Turbo Thunder, and Burning Mermaid walked down the path.  Their clothing was torn, they had several scratches on their skin, and Turbo had a small fire on his head.

"We are never going hunting in the Cavern of Fireflies again."  Wolf Knight said, finally.

"I swear to Torp I've never heard of fireflies being associated with actual fire."  Turbo said.

"That's because they weren't fireflies, they were dragonflies."  Burning Mermaid corrected, swatting out the fire on Turbo's head.

"At least he didn't suggest hunting in the Forest of Ages."  Wolf Knight said.

"Of course not!  It's starting to get dark out, and nobody wants to get caught out there at night.  Turbo said, defensively.

“Anyway.”  Wolf knight continued.  “We’re going to need to get some real food.  The brochure says we’re pretty close to this Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill.  Let’s just go there.”

“Eating at a restaurant in the Dark Undercold?!  Are you crazy?!”  Turbo exclaimed.

"It's not technically the Dark Undercold."  Burning Mermaid replied.  "It's at the far end of Dim Underchilly.  Rodeo Nova would probably have strong words with you for saying she comes from the Dark Undercold.  Some would probably be quite cross, although others would probably be incoherent."

“You could just have the last Meal.”  Wolf Knight suggested, patting his bag.

“...Point taken.  All right, let’s just keep our guard up.”  Turbo said, defeated.

The trio followed the map and it wasn’t long until they came across a large building off the road.  A massive sign informed them that this was, indeed, the Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill.  A neon sign depicted a robed figure jabbing a knife into a man on a slab.  Both of them were giving a thumbs up sign.  Wolf Knight and Turbo exchanged a glance.

“It’s probably just a theme restaurant.”  Wolf Knight said, as they made their way to the entrance.

"Yes, that's clearly the most likely scenario here."  Burning Mermaid added.  Wolf Knight wasn't sure if she was being sarcastic, and Turbo seemed as oblivious as ever, so he decided to drop it.

"Welcome to the Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill!"  The perky greeter chirped.  She wore thick, red robes that covered her entire body and bore images of faces screaming in agony.  A name tag was pinned on the right side of her chest that read ‘Hi, my name is Jenny!’  "Party of three?  Follow me and we'll get you seated.  The dinner show is just about to start!"  She guided them to an empty table, gave them menus and gestured to the pyramid structure in the center of the restaurant.  At the top of the pyramid, a priest was standing over a blindfolded man laying on a stone altar.

"This man has received the great honor of being the next sacrifice!"  The priest announced.  The blindfolded man on the altar raises both of his arms and made horn symbols with them.  "Glory to Lord Darkblood Killdeath!"  The priest continued, and plunged the dagger into the man's heart.  Pyrotechnic jets of flame shot up and neon lights flashed all around the pyramid.  The crowd let out a cheer as the man's body was lifted and taken into the back of the restaurant.

Wolf Knight urgently flagged over the nearest waiter, and the robed figure quickly approached the table.

“You had a question about the menu, sir?”

“It says here that your steaks are made with ‘100% grade A meat.’”

“That’s absolutely right.  We have only the finest meat.”

“Could you be a bit more specific?”

“About what, sir?”

“The meat.”

“It’s the finest meat.”

“Yes, but meat from what?”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The meat?  What’s it from?”

“The kitchen, sir.”

Wolf Knight closed his eyes in frustration.  “Yes, I figured that.  But what IS the meat?”

“It’s food.  I’m sorry sir, I just assumed you would know that.”

“Yes, I’m aware that it’s food.  That’s why we’re in a restaurant.”

“Then what is the issue?”

“What kind of meat is it?  Is it beef?”

“It’s only the finest meat.”

“Yes, but...you know what, I think I’ll just have the salad.”

"And you, sir?"  The waiter asked Turbo.

Turbo glanced between the waiter and Wolf Knight.  "I think, for once...I'll agree with Wolf Knight on this."  he said, finally.

"And for the lady?"  The waiter asked, looking to Burning Mermaid.

"Yeah I'll take the steak."  She said.  Wolf Knight and Turbo stared at her as the waiter left with their orders.  "What?"  She asked.

"But...the meat..."  Turbo said.

Burning Mermaid shrugged.  "It wouldn't be the first time."

Turbo Thunder and Wolf Knight scooted their chairs just a bit further from Burning Mermaid.