Thursday, January 26, 2017

The Sacrificial Slab Bar and Grill (Part 2)

"AHHHHHHHHH!  AHHHHHHHHH!  OH GOD IT BURNS!"  The man on the rack screamed.

"I'm going to be honest, I'm not sure my..."  Wolf Knight paused, and considered a moment.  "...traveling companions and I are very comfortable with this, Elder Bloodscream."

"Eh."  Burning Mermaid shrugged.

"Oh, no one's here against their will, kiddo.  They love this!"  Elder Bloodscream said, and jammed the hot poker into the bound man's arm again.

"AHHHHHHHHH!  AHHHHHHHHH!  THE BURNING!  AHHHHHHHHH!  AHHHhhhh......"  the man fell silent as the poker was pulled away, panting and gasping for breath.  "Phew...Heh...good times."

"Eh?"  Elder Bloodscream said, nudging Turbo Thunder with his elbow.  "You want a go, sport?"

Turbo Thunder's face transitioned through several shades of pale and he managed to shake his head in a stilted way.

Burning Mermaid rolled her eyes.  "Give it here."  she said.

Elder Bloodscream handed the poker over to Burning Mermaid and laughed.  "Don't have too much fun now, you crazy kid."  he said.  "As for you two, follow me and we'll see how we can help you out."

"AHHHHHHHHH!"

Wolf Knight and Turbo Thunder followed the robed man as he led them towards the gift shop.

"You see?  I told you that sometimes you just need to ask for help."  Wolf Knight said to Turbo, quietly.  "Not everyone's as bad as you seem to think they are."

"AHHHHHHHHH!  TOO MUCH!"

Turbo gaped at Wolf Knight, his jaw dropping open a little.  "Wolf Knight, we watched them sacrifice someone!  And...and the meat!"

"AHHHHHHHHH!!  I NEED THAT SPLEEN!"

"Just showmanship, kid!  We're a theme restaurant, I thought you'd figured that out by now."  Elder Bloodscream said.

"AHHHHHHHHH!  WHAT DID YOU DO TO TYLER?!"

"Yeah, see?"  Wolf Knight said.

"If it's a theme restaurant, where did they take the bod-"  Turbo started, but Wolf Knight cut him off.

"So we're just here for a blood sample from..."He pulled out the brochure and examined it a moment.  "Deathlord Clarence."


"AHHHHHHHHH!  I DIDN'T SIGN UP FOR THIS!"

 
"Ah, got the short straw, huh?  Well, we've got a bunch of vials in the gift shop."  Elder Bloodscream explained.

"That's a weird thing to sell in a gift shop."  Wolf Knight replied.

"Kid, we're torture junkies.  I assure you it's not the weirdest thing you'll find in there.  We've got things you wouldn't see in your wildest dreams or your most vile nightmares.  Also, funnel cake."

“Funnel cake?  I haven’t had that in years.  Is it any good here?”  Turbo asked.

“Eh.”  Elder Bloodscream shrugged.


In short order, Wolf Knight was examining a vial of ordinary looking blood and Turbo was munching on a plate of funnel cake.

“This funnel cake is really good!”  Turbo said.

“You’re very kind.”  Elder Bloodscream replied, beaming.  “We use a special ingredient.”

“Oh yeah?  What’s that?”  Turbo asked.

Elder Bloodscream spread his arms wide.  “HUMAN SACRIFICES!”

Turbo abruptly dropped the plate and ran in the direction of the bathrooms, holding his hand over his mouth.  Elder Bloodscream let out a burst of laughter before wiping a tear from his eye with his robe.  “That never gets old.”


Burning Mermaid walked over to join them, handing the poker back to Elder Bloodscream.

"Eh?  Done already?  Did you have fun?"  he asked her.

"It's not a very good arcade."  Burning Mermaid replied.  "I broke it."

"You broke..."   Elder Bloodscream started, staring at her and then at the poker as his brain attempted to process her response.  He ran back in the direction they had come as a miserable Turbo Thunder rejoined them.

"I'm not going to ask, and I don't want you to explain."  Wolf Knight said to Burning Mermaid.

"That's probably for the best."  She replied with a shrug.

"We should probably leave, quickly."  Turbo said.  "For a number of very good, legitimate reasons."

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