Meet the Staff (Part 2)

I hope everybody had a great weekend!

Today we'll be discussing part 2 in our highlight of the Super Wizard Tower Staff.

"Doctor" CoolRad:  As our resident physician, "Doctor" CoolRad maintains the tower infirmary.  You might recognize him as the author of several books:

• Pharmaceutical uses of Crimson Bovine Power Beverage (Sponsored by Crimson Bovine Power Beverage)
• High Fives:  Simple Gesture or Healing Miracle?
• Crimson Bovine Power Beverage:  Absolutely non-toxic (Sponsored by Crimson Bovine Power Beverage)

"Doctor" CoolRad has incredibly effective bedside manner, and you'll love his catch phrase:  "I'm legally required to inform you that I'm not actually a doctor."

Elder Sally Sue:  After inadvertently slaughtering a herd of cattle with her untapped potential*, Elder Sally Sue established the deadly arts of Super wizard Irate Expressions.  There's no one better to teach the class, and the rate at which she accidentally causes lasting damage to students falls within acceptable handbook guidelines.  Sign up for one of her classes and find out how with a bit of determination and focused hate, looks can kill, or at least maim!
*The reason(s) why she hates cattle** are shrouded in mystery, but it's recommended that beef is kept away from Elder Sally Sue.
**Whether this hate applies to other types of food is unknown.  Do not bring food into Elder Sally Sue's classes to avoid further fatalities.


Elder [NAME DELETED]:  The former teacher of Abstract Arts, Elder [NAME DELETED] went too far, too abstract, and blasted himself backwards and forwards through time and space.  As a result of this, her name tends to be a little difficult to pronounce/spell.  Because of his mishap, the Council of Elders decided to make Abstract Art one of the forbidden weapons, along with Interpretive Dance (just to be safe.).  Her memory (or as much of it that remains intact) will always be honored by the Super Wizard Tower.

Despite all this, Elder [NAME DELETED] still pops in to say hi every once in a while.  Unfortunately he usually tries to speak in melting clocks.

The Library Viking:  The Super Wizard Tower's very own librarian.  Nobody actually knows the name of The Library Viking, so everyone just calls him that.  As previously mentioned, the library currently has no books, so The Library Viking is the one who curates the music and cartoons that play there at all hours.  Some say that he does not eat, drink, or sleep.  Others say that he's as old as the tower himself.  Still others say that he's bound to the tower library due to a blood debt that he owes Elder Fred*.  Some of these things may even be true!  The Library Viking, however, has never confirmed or denied these stories.  Every attempt to question The Library Viking about anything results in a wicked metal scream over an intense guitar solo.  Nobody's really sure where the guitar sounds come from.
*Elder Fred has not commented on this.