A Quest (Part 3)

Lesser Evil looked up from the large folded paper he was holding at the giant floating face in the sky and frowned.  The face stared back at him.  He looked back down at the paper again and his frown deepened, and he looked back up at the face.  The face stared back at him.  He looked back down at the paper and the face sighed.

"The map's not going to change no matter how many times you look at it, kid."

"...map?"  Lesser Evil responded, looking at the face with a confused look on his face.  "What's a map?"

"You're joking, right?"  The face asked.  "He's joking, right?"

"Probably not, Frank, he's got the sense of direction of a confused tree stump."  Space Slayer replied from nearby.

"So...a map is what?"

The face heaved out a heavy sigh, causing a nearby stone tree to crack and fall over.  "It's a sort of picture of the nearby area that you can use to find things."

Lesser Evil's jaw dropped open, aghast.  "Those exist?!  Why didn't anyone tell me?!"

"They did.  Multiple times.  At length."  Space Slayer replied, bringing her hand to her face.  "Why did you even follow me, Lesser Evil?  I'm pretty sure the fact that we're speaking alone could get us both expelled, arrested, probably executed, and possibly exorcised and sealed away with forbidden magics."

Lesser Evil shrugged.  "I just follow my gut, and it seemed like a good idea at the time."

"Are you sure it's your gut you follow?  Considering where you usually end up, I have my doubts."

"Hah, zing."  The face rumbled.

"Quiet, Frank."  Space Slayer said, glancing up at the face.

"Sorry about that."  The face apologized.

"Where are we, anyway?"  Lesser Evil asked, looking around again.

"We're at Frank."  Space Slayer replied with a shrug, gesturing around them.

"Yo."  The face rumbled.

"I thought Frank was the face?"  Lesser Evil asked.

"Don't talk about the face like it's not here."  The face rumbled again, indignantly.

"He is, but he's also the place."  Space Slayer explained.

"Okay...so where are you headed?"  Lesser Evil asked.  "Just...visiting the face?"

"Something wrong with that?"  The face boomed.

"Oh no, you seem like a very nice floating sky face."  Lesser Evil said.  "And you're both clearly...acquainted."

"Frank's a cool guy, he throws good parties."  Space Slayer said with a shrug.

"No Body can resist my parties."  The face rumbled.  "Sorry, little bit of floating sky face humor there."

"...But I didn't actually come here to see Frank."  Space Slayer continued, ignoring the pun.  "I need to find Wolf Knight, and this is a stop on the way."

"Didn't he just leave for some sort of quest?"  Lesser Evil asked.  "Turbo Thunder was running around telling everyone who would listen that he was going along to help, but not to tell the Council because it was a secret."

"Yeah, he left for the Dark Undercold, which is why it's important that I find him."  Space Slayer said.

"Why didn't you just leave through the front gate?"  Lesser Evil asked.

"Are you criticizing my choice of directions?  You?"  Space Slayer asked, incredulously.  "And I couldn't use the front gate, it was watching."

"The gate?"  Lesser Evil asked.

"Yeah, it's still angry about last time."  Space Slayer replied.

"What happened last time?"  Lesser Evil asked.

Space Slayer took out a small booklet and flipped through it.  "Looks like our exit is that way.  I don't like it, but you'll have to tag along.  Unless you'd like to stay with Frank, of course."

"I could bring out the board games."  The face rumbled.

"Another time, Frank."  Space Slayer said to the face.  She grabbed Lesser Evil's arm and dragged him to a tree with a door in it.  "Also, if that wasn't a map, what were you looking at?"

"Oh this?  It's blank.  I was just doing a thing my parents taught me to do when I got lost."  He replied.

"...I think they meant for you to be holding a map."  She said.

"What's a map?"  He asked.

Space Slayer opened the door and kicked him through the opening. "See you around, Frank."  She said.

"You sure about the board games?  I've got Yah-and she's gone."  The face looked around at the barren landscape and sighed.  "Solitaire it is, I guess.  Oh wait, no hands."