Hello readers! I apologize for the silence this week, there were a number of unexpected issues that popped up.
I would like to first address the rumors of the missing students. Let me assure you that with the exception of Wolf Knight and Burning Mermaid (who have departed on an epic quest), and Turbo Thunder (Who has left the tower to visit his family and not to secretly help Wolf Knight on his quest), the Council is doing everything possible to locate the missing students. Truly, as the possibility that Lesser Evil and Space Slayer have crossed paths has terrified some of the Elders comatose and violates the student handbook, several treaties, and possibly the laws of reality. They probably haven't crossed paths though, they both just have a habit of ending up where they don't belong or getting lost. The odds that they're somewhere together are fairly low.
With that aside, let's get into this week's Q&A!
How many beings can a ventriloquism spell be cast on at one time? Specifically I'm looking for 2-50. Also specifically, they are dogs.
-Rodeo Nova
...You really have no idea how much I would like to decline answering this question, but the Council has required that I attempt to answer every submitted question as best I can.
Ventriloquism spells heavily depend on the skill of the caster. I think most students could handle at least 2, but the upward limit will vary. The spell has fallen out of favor these days for not being flashy or explody enough, so you may need to request someone personally teach you. I don't believe you'll find a class on the spell, but one of the Elders may be willing to teach you.
Regarding the Doomsday Scribe, who do we submit doomsday prophecies to until the Tower finds a replacement?
-Taco Lightning
Never fear, you can still submit prophecies to the former Doomsday Scribe in his quarters. His physical vessel may have been (quite thoroughly) destroyed, but his spirit remains*. Just ignore his whining about the constant pain and torment of his existence, it's not really any different from when he was alive anyway.
However, if you notice anything odd about his ghostly attire, please make sure you report it. Elder Steve has been known to make ghosts and undead wear silly and embarrassing outfits, and the Scribe is already difficult to work with without being insulted as well.
*The fine print of the Doomsday Scribe's contract states that his spirit can and will be bound to the tower using foul magic until a suitable replacement has been found.
Dear Lazer Gaiden,
You weren't kidding about this desert. All is lost. All of it. Please send water. I don't know where we are. Oh God. Oh God.
How do you keep spirits up when supernaturally depressed?
Regards, etc.etc.
-Sergeant Mercy Gorecrunch
Mercy! So good to hear from you again! Hope everything is going well in your assignment!
Sounds like you're running into some trouble with the effect of the Desert of Sorrow. Your best bet is to keep some "Crimson Bovine" at hand and break out Elder Mary's...how did she put it..."Weaponized Family Friendly Musical Numbers." Our extensive research and investigation have shown that to be the most effective weapon against the Desert of Sorrow's influence. Elder Mary has warned that these songs may come with some sort of side-effect, but we never actually listen to things like that because they're boring.
How do we go about enrolling in Glamomancy? It seems like there's not a lot of information available about it.
-Throat-Punch Ballet
Glamomancy is a relatively new Super Wizard discipline. The Council has asked me to speak more about it next week, so please be patient until then. The Fabulous Arts will soon be revealed to all.
That's all the time I have for today. Have a good weekend, everyone!
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