Q&A With Lazer Gaiden (Part 4)

Hello everyone, welcome to this week's Q&A!  I've safely returned from my assignment and was pleased to find only an acceptable number of fires broke out in my absence.  Let's get right into this week's questions!

Can either the Irrational Techno-Wizardry or Infernal Techno-Wizardry departments change their names? Every device sent to the IT department for repairs comes back demonically possessed and/or weeping blood.
-Rodeo Nova

While I agree with you 100% on this, it is simply not possible.  The Council has refused to force the issue as they tend to avoid interaction with both departments as much as possible.  They're not just gross and weird, however, they're also notoriously difficult to locate.  The Council is not actually sure where their departments are located, which is a fact that a large number of people find to be immensely disturbing.  If they weren't so good at what they do with only a small number of student disappearances, the Council has stated they would consider hiring an exterminator.

As for devices that come back demonically possessed or weeping blood, you can usually solve those problems fairly quick with a generous application of "Crimson Bovine" Power Beverage.  For whatever reason, demonic entities won't come anywhere near the stuff.

How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
-Lesser Evil

Unfathomable, is the answer to this one.  Sponges are the magic that keep the ocean from rising up against us, a seal on the great watery evil.  We keep trying to warn people about this, but they're just so gosh darn useful for personal hygiene that our warnings have gone unheeded.  If the sponge harvest is not put to an end, the world will reap a dark, watery whirlwind that no one may be able to stop.

This has set the Doomsday Scribe to gibbering and rocking back and forth while hugging his knees.  Well, it could be that or any other number of things.  Most folks tend to leave the Doomsday Scribe to his own devices, as he's a bit of a downer.

Just how rigorous is the acceptance process? Are there any skills that make some applicants more desirable than others such as insert something clever here?
-Steve

The difficulty of the acceptance process varies heavily on the current need for students.  Generally speaking, we don't take in students.  The Council is very focused on making money the well being of students, so we generally keep it average.  If the process is too rigorous, we end up with a lapse of students (see Burning Mermaid's student highlight).  If it's too loose, we end up with jackasses like Elder George who somehow also end up with leadership positions awesome elders who determine whether or not Super Wizard Lazer Gaiden gets his yearly bonus.
Edited by Elder George on 1XXX at 6:03 PM.

That aside, there are a number of things that are almost universally tested for regardless of the current difficulty of the entrance exams.  First off, the tower rarely accepts students over the age of 9.  The naming ceremony occurs at age 10, and very, very few exceptions are made to this rule lest we anger the founders buried under the stones of the tower basement*.  We also test for "Crimson Bovine" Power Beverage tolerance.  Students who don't survive exposure to "Crimson Bovine" Power Beverage** are generally not accepted into the tower.

The Council personally checks the the applicants for compatibility with various Super Wizard disciplines.  The exact metrics are known only to them, but the general theory is that if an applicant shows promise in at least one area of Super Wizard education, they're allowed enrollment.
*We have very little wish to awaken the Founders again.  The Happyshine Spirit Punchers are expensive and not on great terms with us after the last incident.
**Which is not to say that "Crimson Bovine" Power Beverage unsafe in any way, of course.