Meet the Staff (Part 3)

Hello everybody!  The search for the Tower basement continues, as I have yet to discover where the entrance is located.  I inquired about it with the Council, but was surprised to discover that they didn't know where the entrance was either.  Apparently they wanted me to discuss it so that they could figure out where it is, as "If we forgot about it for this long, it probably needs a pretty intense cleaning."  They raise a fair point, and who knows?  Maybe that's even the source of our IT infestations.  Or one of them, at least.

Let's get right into today's Meet the Staff!  Today I'll be introducing you to two of our more popular Elders, Elder Mary and Elder Steve!

Elder Mary:  Formerly the best, prettiest, and most well-liked of all the Elders who was also the youngest to become an Elder, and is also a princess from a lost and forgotten kingdom*.  Elder Mary was surpassed in at least some of these regards by Elder Fred.  I don't like to spread gossip, but I hear that this has caused her a considerable amount of angst.  Although I suppose it's not exactly gossip because no one broods and rages as well as Elder Mary, it turns out.  Elder Mary teaches Chosen Ones** essential skills, as well as the more general classes "How to Tolerate Magical Guide Companions" and "How to Navigate through Spontaneous Musical Numbers While Questing."
*According to her, we haven't been able to prove this as it's lost and forgotten.
**Note that Chosen One in this context refers to those chosen for epic quests, not descendants of chosen ones like Lesser Evil.

Elder Steve:  The Tower's very own lovable teacher of dark, blasphemous arts and grammar!  Elder Steve is much beloved by his students.  No one can quite say if they find more charm in his constant screaming of things like "I'll show you all what true power is!  You'll rue the day that you mocked Elder Steve!" or "I'll kill all of you!" or just simply hissing like he's some kind of vampire.  Everybody loves him, and he loves everyone just as much*!  Elder Steve's most popular class is "Black Magic and Sentence Structures," of course, but he also teaches valuable life skills like "Evil Fashion for Today's Modern World" and "How to Brood like a Master."  If you ever head to the Recreation and Quarantine wing only to find it closed, you can bet that it's probably because of one of Elder Steve's charmingly horrifying experiments!
*In his own way.